SOMEtimes, though, it just might be better never than late...

I'm sniffing the plethora of flowers in the photo below. Now, knowing what I do about what my face looks like when I do this, I may never catch a floral aroma again. You're welcome, casual observers who inhabit the world.

 shoes: forever21. pants: gap. shirt: j.crew. bracelet & earrings: hawaii. necklace: don't recall. flower hair clip: downeast basics.

So I have a million and one excuses, guys, for not posting for a few days. All of which require 18 minutes' worth of back-information, beginning with "I was born on a cold December day..." I'll spare you all and blame it on Blogger instead. Deal? (Answer: I see your deal and raise you a sympathetic nod.)

I know it's Sunday today, and I was clothed for church (*phew*). Funny story [Editor's note: I should never preface a story like that. It only gets expectations waaaay too high. I should've simply said "A story" or even just started into the recall with no preamble of all. I realize this, yet I trudge on bravely regardless. I know. So brave.]:

I work with the children at my church, teaching them songs and stuff. One of the visual aids I was using had a mom paper doll that my 5-year-old had colored for me. She (the mom) happened to have green hair. Fine, whatever, I love color and creativity, so that's just great. A cute 7-year-old at church chose the mom paper doll from the pile and replied, all adult-like, "She must be a mom of our times." Oh, must she? Because, apparently, all the cool moms have green hair.

On an unrelated note, I don't know if I'll be taking photos of my head/hair anymore. And also, I have no idea what happened to all the green food coloring...

Happy Sunday!

on math and other things to cry about

 shoes: cato brand. cropped pants: gap. shirt: j.crew. bracelet: downeast basics. earrings: hawaii.

I made my 6-year-old do some math this morning. He hates the pressure of being timed, though, so instead of doing it on a math website, I wrote out some problems for him to do on paper. (Bonus: He has to write out the answers, thereby making him practice penmanship as well. Boom goes the dynamite.)

He spent probably an hour complaining about how they're all too hard to do [Editor's note: They weren't.], how he didn't know any of the answers [Editor's note: He did.], how carnivores eat other herbivores and other smaller carnivores [Editor's note: Oh. Okay.], and how he would never ever get it finished in time to go to his friend's house [Editor's note: Seemed to be true.].

Then his sister got home from summer school and he did them all real quick.

Fast-foward to me, right now: I have exactly 13 minutes to be off the computer and start deep-cleaning my son's room while he's gone. Unfortunately, I, too, loathe "timed" assignments, especially when I've nothing of (a) value, (b) humor, or (c) interest to say. 

The best I can come up with? This: my skull is apparently the weirdest shape in humankind, because whenever I wear sashes as headbands, they slowly creep their way toward the back of my sideways-cone-shaped head and then fall off. Don't get me wrong--this headshape would be indisputably awesome for aerodynamicy, if I were an airplane. Less awesome, though, to be the object of "look-at-that-chick-with-a-ropey-thing-hanging-awkwardly-down-her-back-while-her-hair-frizzes-out-all-over."

Either way... Happy Thursday.

Want this look? Super simple, super great for summer. Click below...

More J.Crew...

pretend this is a witty post title and laugh.

 shoes: american eagle outfitters. pants: gap. shirt & jacket: vintage. watch: target. necklace: forever21.

My friend gave me this shirt and jacket, which basically seals the deal on our eternal friendship. Yes, my love can be bought. Like fresh pineapple and corn on the cob from the farmer's market. Wanna be my friend? I could use a new skirt or two...

We're on our way out the door for an impromptu overnighter with extended family. I think spontaneity keeps people young. As does dashing to the bathroom holding a potty-training 2-year-old out in front of me as far away as possible because she's about to pee. Not to brag, but I'm a pretty stinking fast straight-arm weight-bearing sprinter.

Now you REALLY want to be my friend, don't you. I like my skirts knee-length...

Happy Wednesday.

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More Topshop...

Leave a message after the beep...

You know those people who chronically leave looonnnnnnnng voicemail messages? Usually about nothing, or, on a good day, about one small thing that could've been summarized in about 6-1/2 words?

Yeah, well, I'm one of Those People. Why?!?! I can't control myself! At the sound of the BEEP, my tongue bolts into small-talk conversation mode ("Hi! How ARE you?! Wait, why am I asking the machine that? I'm so sure, like you're going to answer back? Please. I know this is voicemail. Anyway. I have GOT to tell you something -- this is Brittney, by the way -- asap. Oh, and I forgot to mention something the other day about that one thingggg...") and on and on I go. And that's just breath #1.

You want to hang up, just reading this. Don't you. You must, because I want to hang up on myself. EV.RY. time I get Ms. Voicemail on the other line, I get a little nervous because I'm under her magic never-stop-talking spell. And every time my husband sees me listening to Ms. Voicemail, he rolls his eyes and smirks. Then takes a nap. And when he wakes up, I'm barely hanging up.

Which really isn't fair, though, because HE is a man. HE can call up Ms. Voicemail and, without batting an eye, say after the beep: "Hey, it's Paul. Got a question for you. Call me back." *click*

Whut the whut. No faiiiiirrrrrrr! I TRY to do that. But. I. Can't.

I won't let that happen on blog today, though. Watch this:

You can see what I wore today. I wanted to wear these items because they are (a) comfortable, (b) compatible, and (c) not crusty. And maybe (d) cute. [Editor's note: Alliteration was never my strong point.] Wait, I guess I could've said (c) clean. That sounds a little better.

Remember the red satin polka dot sash I wore here? This is the companion shirt. And since I have two kids' Christmas programs to attend today, I thought it would be appropriately festive. Everything else just kind of hopped out at me, then onto me, from my closet. I LOVE when that happens.

And also. May I please just say, my Unexpected & Maybe Awesome moment of this outfit is the pairing of bright navy flats & necklace with a randomly turquoise headband. TOTally don't really "go." Which is unexpected. And I'm not sure if they even "go" in a these-don't-go-but-it's-still-chic way. They might just "go" in a wow-she's-really-color-blind kind of way. Regardless, it leaves you guessing, doesn't it. Which, to me, makes them maybe awesome.

Aaaaaand...that's a wrap. Tell Ms. Voicemail hello for me. I'm sure she misses me.

Happy Thursday.