what's red & pink & tweed all over?

RED: check.

 PINK (about 12 shades): check check check.

 TWEED: check. 

 or, for you overdo-the-pink-on-V-Day purists, TWEED: UNcheck.

 shoes: converse brand. tweed jacket: talbots. scarf: gift. bracelets: forever21 & gifts.

Hey guys, it's Red-and-Pink day at Everybody, Everywear. Fitting for Valentine's Day, obv. I actually have a red maternity corduroy skirt that I contemplated wearing with this shirt, but I'm glad I didn't. Seemed a little too bleeding-pepto-bismol for me. Not that that's a bad thing, of course. Oh, wait. Yes it is.

You know what's weird? (Aside from the fact that my 3-year-old is developing an affinity for pickle juice. No lie. Ew.) I think pregnant bellies actually look better when you can see their real outline. Which is the paradox of the universe, but there it is. 

If I had my way, I'd drape myself in a canvas tent and call it good for the next 2 months. But there are others to consider. Like my husband. And the circus clowns who, frankly, need those tents to make a living. Speaking of...is it odd to wear red chucks with a tweed jacket? Probably. I mean, are we college-professoring today or boarding at the skate park? One just can't tell. Which, to me, makes the combination a little Unexpected & Maybe Awesome.

Happy Valentine's Day.

other cute red and pink stuff (maternity & regular):

More LOFT...

larger than life

 shoes: converse brand. leggings: old navy. skirt: thrifted & modified. shirt: gap. watch: target. bracelets: forever21.

So our across-the-street neighbors had a yard sale on Saturday because they're moving. I got a set of jumper cables for $2, which I'm appreciative of, but beyond that I'm pretty mad at them.* 

[*Neighbs, if you're reading this, know I'm not really mad at you. Just, y'know, at the situation.]

My kids really really wanted to go to their yard sale after my jumper cable purchase, so they all got themselves dressed and their chores done (a prerequisite for such an excursion), and my daughter found her wallet in which all three kids' collective earnings were stored. I stayed in the kitchen doing the dishes, leaving the front door open and my ears hearing this:

[nothing for a while, then my son's adorable voice explaining] "Yeah, but we only have a five-dollar and two one-dollars, so I guess we can't buy it."

[muffled voices heard over my sigh of relief that more stuff was not going to be accumulated as a result of this venture]
[relative silence for about 3 minutes]

[kids enter the house; girls are squealing, son is grunting as he plops THIS in the entryway]:

I'm less than thrilled about it. The thing's enormous. The kids couldn't be more proud of themselves. (Their grampa's proud of their "wheelin-and-dealin," but their grampa doesn't have a life-size stuffed animal in his house, either. So.)

If you need me, I'll be smashing down walls for an extension to fit the new guy. Or dropping one of the kiddos off in a basket on the neighbor's porch. One of the two; I haven't decided.

Happy Monday.

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More Forever 21...

smells like Middle-aged Spirit...

 shoes: converse brand. skirt: american eagle. shirt: old navy. necklace: forever21. hair flower barrettes: gift. bracelet: hawaii. belt: son's old Halloween pirate costume (thrifted).

It's that time of the month again, ladies. No, not that time of the month. I mean the time for Everybody, Everywhere to wear yellow. And so I did. Do. Will. Five miles uphill both ways in snow that was waist-deep with nothing but holey socks for shoes...

I'm getting old, friends. Here's proof: (a) I turned off the radio in the car because it was "too much racket." (b) I used the phrase "too much racket." (c) I can't eat as many cinnamon bears as I used to. (d) I don't even want to. (e) I go to bed before the summer sun does. (f) I spied some off-white geriatric shoes the other day and thought of ways I could style them because they looked soooooo comfy. (g) My hip pops and creaks when I get up from the couch... (h) ...a process that takes about 14 minutes and involves a lot of huffing and puffing and heaving and rocking back to propel myself up-and-off. (i) I went for comfy over styled for this yellow challenge. I know what you're thinking ("well, floss my dentures and chew my flaxseeds!") because that's what I thought, too.

Also...Remember back when I started the 30x30? Somehow, I only ended up with 23 items. I don't know if the others were in the wash, or if I just lost them altogether and forgot about them or what...but I realized yesterday that, no, my aging eyes were not deceiving me and that, yes, I was staring at the same things over and over. And over. And those things numbered only 23. Alzheimers ahoy.

So. It's almost 4:00. Time to think about eating some dinner. Preferably something involving bran and greens. (Could I make any more stereotypical old-people references in this post? Doubtful...)

Happy Tuesday!



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the 1st part is lame...and it goes downhill from there...

I apologize in advance for this post. Any shred of creativity and humor I once may have had has been zapped by UV rays and chlorine. They need to make a sunscreen for THAT kind of protection, if you ask me. C'mon, scientists. BE somebody.

 shoes: converse brand. shorts: american eagle. shirt: forever21. necklace & flower clips: gift. watch: target.

 This crown braid? Yeah. Awkward. I took it out because it's too weird, and I can't concentrate knowing that I look like a lopsided pinhead. Not to offend the lopsided pinhead population out there...I'm sure you're all very capable crown-braiders.

So, here's the deal, guys. I love this top, but I'm finding it hard to style differently. This is the case with several of my 30x30 shirts, actually. In cooler weather, it's easier for me to change things up by layering differently. But when it's hot, like it is now (not complaining, here. just, y'know, stating facts), the last thing I want to do is layer stuff just so it looks different on the ol' blog.

[Editor's note: So we've come to that, have we? "Ol' blog"? Ouch. Like Ol' Yeller...didn't he die at the end?]

So. This top is like an outfit unto itself. I don't really know what that means, actually, despite the piece of embossed cardstock somewhere in my house that says some PhDs think I know 4 years' worth of something about the English language. (Suckers.) Basically, if I wear this top, it doesn't really matter what else goes with it, because it's bold and detailed and can't really be paired with a non-neutral bottom like plaid because...ouch on the brain and on the eyes.

Speaking of pained brains: "apparently" you're "not" supposed to eat "crappy" foods "late" at night every "night" if you're "trying" to lose tummy "flub." [Editor's note: Admit it...you're a huge fan of an overuse of the arbitrarily placed quotation mark, aren't you?] Guess who's going to actively embrace her tummy flub? That's right. Me. Because some things are totally worth a romantic m&m snack by TV-light.

Happy Tuesday.

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More Converse...

on sunburn and psyche

 shoes: converse brand. leggings: don't recall (maybe old navy?). skirt & vest: thrifted. shirt j.crew. hairclip: downeast basics. necklace: handmade gift. watch: gift (citizen brand).

My daughter couldn't decide which bracelet of mine to wear this morning...so she wore them all. There's a lesson in there somewhere, don't you think? (p.s. Enlarge the photo below to check her face(s) out. Priceless.)

I have a peeling sunburn on my nose and the top of my forehead at my hairline. That's right. Super classy dandruff-lady, comin' through. Is it weird that I kinda planned this hodge-podge ensemble around that? Dandruff? I wanted to wear something that says, "hey, I'm actually a fairly hygienic person [minus flossing], but I'm sporting some scalp flakeage right now, so instead of stressing about something that will go away on its own in a day or two, I'll just dress all random like I'm super laid-back and you'll think I'm the outdoorsy type, in which case said peeling sunburn totally makes sense and actually makes me look kinda cool and approachable."

I think I nailed it. The "dress all random" part, anyway. Polka dot skirt with vest and baseball henley? Yeah baby. Definitely random.

Speaking of...My husband said, "yeah baby" to me the other day, which nearly caused our 2-year-old to have a pint-sized heart attack. "Dad! Mom is not yoi BABY! She's mom!" I think I'm getting old.

Happy Tuesday.

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More J.Crew...

red: a neutralizer or distraction? discuss...

Wow, it's only Day 3 and I'm already getting lame with the rhymes. Dah well.

 shoes: converse brand. skirt: american eagle. shirt: j.crew. sash: off a shirt from downeast basics. necklace: handmade by daughter with keychain pendant from an eiffel tower souvenier shop in paris.

I love this shirt. Love the snaps on the sleeves. Love the neckline. Love the weight and fit of the fabric. Love it all.

Wanna know a secret? C'mere. Closer...closerrrrrrr... This shirt is cream-based, and the skirt is white-based. I have always--ALWAYS--had a thing for keeping those two separate. Combining them is like drinking orange juice or eating sour patch kids right after brushing your teeth. (Guess which activity loses out almost every time around here?) (Wait, don't guess. It's alarming how well you guys are already acquainted with my limited dental hygiene habits...) (Okay, so that's not exactly true. I sure don't floss like a champ, but I brush my teeth! Faithfully! Often! I swear!)

[Editor's note: Um, the Punctuation Police called and said they're running out of parentheses and exclamation marks. Easy does it.]

(psssst...Editor...the Jerk Store called and said they're running out of YOU!)

And if you've never watched Seinfeld and/or are unacquainted with the fabulous fictional character that is George Costanza, you won't understand that last parenthetical aside. And also? My heart bleeds for you.

So. Cream, meet white. White, cream. Let's throw in a pop o' red and call it a day, shall we?

Happy Wednesday.

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More American Apparel...

simplicity doesn't have to be boring.

 shoes: converse brand. leggings: old navy. skirt: thrifted. sweater: vintage (american eagle). belt: forever21. flower clip: handmade gift.

Last night after tucking her in, I told my 2-year-old daughter, "I'll be back in 5 minutes to turn out your lamp." To which she responded, "I wuv you too, mom." Talk about unexpected and maybe awesome.

Know what else is unexpected and maybe awesome? (Queen of segues, right here.) These shoes. With this skirt. With this sweater. With some leggings. This outfit is pretty basic, but I love it so much! How can that be? I think it's partly because each piece speaks for itself; it's not hidden or manipulated in any way...which is what I feel like I do too often. Cheat.

Annnnd the other-partly reason I like it is because my lips match the Chucks. And the Chucks are bright red.

But, enough about me. Let's talk about Ahnold. Whut the...? Okay, enough about Arnold, let's talk about The Voice. Love its entertainment quotient (minus Christina's "unfortunate bleach job," as Elissa so aptly put it). Okay, enough about The Voice, let's talk about how I'm going to sort through about 28 boxes of baby/kid clothes and de-junk.

Wait. Let's not talk about that. Makes me depressed.

Happy Wednesday.

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More Forever 21...

old lady floral shirt + kid-type shoe = middle-aged me.

Check out our clean floor. Makes you want to be friends with me and visit, doesn't it. "Here, have some juice, friend. Don't worry, I blew the dust and stuff out of your cup before I poured it. You're welcome. It was nothing. Really."

shoes: converse brand. jeans: kohl's. shirt & belt: forever21. cardigan: rue21. watch: target. bracelet: burntsiena designs. necklace: downeast basics.

Apparently April showers bring...May showers. It's been raining non-stop for three days here. Not that I mind much. I happen to like frizzed-out hair, restless stir-crazy children with the sniffles, and the aroma of wet dog. I'm sure you can relate.

Oh. Wait. No I don't, and no you can't.

Today's jumping-off point was: something floral, to go along with Everybody Everywhere. This shirt wins--the colors are good, the floral print is pretty, and it's (almost) clean. BAM. I was planning on pairing it with a springy plaid skirt, but the weather saw my springtime plans and raised them 6 inches of rain. I folded.

Why am I fluently using poker references here? I think I've played the game once in my life, using stuff like swedish fish and cinnamon bears as poker chips. It was fun...until I had to drop out because I'd eaten all my wagering pieces, which was an embarrassing display of zero-self-control for a 20-something, don't you think?

Anyway. Enough about you, let's talk about me. I like this outfit's ironic combinations of feminine (necklace) and not (red Chucks), preppy (sweater) and racy (Vegas-style sequined belt), happy and dead tired. See my puffy eyes? Yeah. This Queen of Hearts was up all night working.

Happy Tuesday.

p.s. Don't forget to enter the fabulous giveaway -- see the post directly below this one.

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More Converse...

taming the wild beast within. or at least embracing him... her... whatever.

 shoes: converse brand. jeans, long-sleeve tee, & vest: gap (what the trifecta? that. is. embarrassing.). belt: pocket's. watch: citizen brand. hairthing: gifted.

I don't know about you, but I think puffy vests are awesome. And warm. Which is a huge win-win when you check the outside thermometer every hour *fingers crossed* that you get to the 15-degrees mark that day, and heaven forbid mother nature sends you into the blazing-hot 20s because you'd probably have to break out the shorts and have a luau in such balmy temps.

I'm not bitter. I'm just sayin. It ain't hot.

(ahem) So. Puffy vest. Love mine. Throw it on over a long-sleeved tee, and we're in business. After donning some dark wash jeans, of course, because otherwise (a) chilly! and (b) gross. I was warm at this point, but felt rather, well, puffy. I happened to glance at my belt hanger...a crazy idea forming in my hot little head...

...with an internal monologue that went a little something like this: A belt? Over a PUFFY vest? Dare I? No way. I'll look like the Michelin man! Wait, is it MISHuhlin or muSHELLin? Hmmm...note to self: pay attention next tire commercial. But hopefully it won't be that one where the old lady chucks a tire in the store window...seen THAT about a bajillion times. Oh. Belts. Let's go brown.

I belted it up, donned the thickest most comfiest warmest socks I could find (Pocket's, natch), threw on my fave red converse shoes [Editor's note: They're actually my only red converse shoes, in case you're wondering. Which makes them my favorite and, technically, also my least favorite. I think I just blew someone's mind.], and braided my hair into two messy free-spirited braids. And added one loosey-goosey braid for my front bangs and pinned it back with a flower. Which I think is Unexpected and Maybe Awesome. Goes with the whole outdoorsy-backwoods(wo)man-devil-may-care vibe of today.

Happy Thursday.

Want this look? converse vest jeans long-sleeved tee
  

womens down vest

You have Christmas lights on your tree? Huh. I wear mine...

You don't even want to ask the question, because at heart you're a polite person, but I know you can't stop thinking about it, so I'm just going to address the elephant in the room right now. A very white elephant. Yes, that pasty sickly color IS the skin of my winter-white legs. No tights, not color enhancement, no nothin'. Thanks for bringing it up.

[Awkward cyber-pause.]

(ahem) So. Now. Today's jumping-off point was actually this fabulous chocolate cowl-sweater-dress combo. 3-for-1. It's awesome. Originally, I'd planned on pairing it with some skinny jeans. But for some reason, I wasn't feeling the skinnies today. Skinny jean overload, maybe. But I still needed something form-fitting on my lower half to balance out the silhouette of the sweater dress. And to emphasize my extremely large calves.

[Editor's note: Oh, wait. I didn't want to do that at ALL. It just sorta happened. Nuts. But, then again, it's hard to avoid with puppies like these calves. Large and in charge, they are. Especially in their current LED-bright-white-Christmas-light state. But, you know what? They get me to where I need to be. Like the fridge. So, no complaints.]

But leggings fit the bill. As did, once again, this lovely salmony necklace for a bit of color. Add some chunky bracelets, a brown leather belt (with great flower cutout detailing), and a wide leather headband. Which is supposed to look like some kind of reptile skin, I think. But it doesn't. At all. Which, frankly, makes it kind of endearing. ("Aww, sweetie, you tried. Did your best. I'll protect you from the taunts of those mean ol' impressively-faux-snakeskin purses...")

And red Converse. Just because they're red Cons. And I wanted to casual-ify (yep) the overall vibe of this ensemble, despite an accessory overload. I think they're unexpected and maybe awesome here. And, bonus, they take some of the attention away from the bluish-white of ye ol' legs. Which ain't easy.

Happy Tuesday.